im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
