Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
