butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
