come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
