Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
