Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.

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(360): View more from Washington

he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

Fav 3 2122 804
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(317): View more from Indiana

His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?

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(310): View more from California

I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo

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(418): View more from Quebec

Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.

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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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