Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think I just sharted jello shots
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
