I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
