You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
