You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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