Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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