Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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