I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
