I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
