dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize