I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
