Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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