apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We got so high we made milksteak
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
