Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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