cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
