To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
