Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
