I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
