Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
