i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
