Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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