Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
