Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize