he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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