and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
