it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
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