omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
