3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize