Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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