Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
