I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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