I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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