I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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