he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize