dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize