google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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