don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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