I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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