I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
