Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she looked like the before picture.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
