I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
