Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
