Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
