I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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