Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
