I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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