You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
