So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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