i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
