My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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