Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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