The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i came on her dog
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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