It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
