I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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