she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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