i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
