i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
