Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
