She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
