She is in my trunk
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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