I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
