The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize